To Be!!!

"To be, or not to be, that is the question."  Oh the beauty and tragedy of Shakespeare! I am not claiming to know a lot about Shakespeare nor his works.  I simply have certain phrases of his etched in my mind.  Maybe it is his way with words about human frailty and the forever present struggle within our souls.  Anyone who has ever read Shakespeare knows Shakespeare.

I have absolutely no idea why I am starting to write this.  My sister just posted a link to her blog spot that is following her pregnancy.  After trying for so long she is now 16 weeks pregnant.  I am so incredibly happy for her!   I have yet to experience a greater joy than holding my little bundle of life in my arms.  So I am inspired to write...

Today is the second day we are snowed/iced in here in NJ.  If you have never been in an ice storm it is like someone literally blew and froze everything over.  I am nice and cozy with the wood stove roaring and enjoying the time I have with my husband and five month old son.  Outside it is rigidly cold and foggy.  The tree branches shine with a thin layer of ice around them.  We have icicles that hang from our two story home nearly to the ground.  It is beautiful!

The last time we had an ice storm like this was two years ago.  My last show on tour was canceled in Massachusetts (pre-mommy days I was a professional dancer).   My husband and I decided to meet in the Berkshire Mountains for a romantic getaway.  Was it the best idea?  Probably not...but it sure was romantic.  Three bus rides and a slippery mile walk later I arrived at our cozy destination (living in NYC at the time I did not have a car).  That weekend we went for a hike (another not so brilliant idea).  The sun was beginning to set and it was getting a bit rough to walk.  My husband found a spot for us to rest and sat me on a tree stump under an iced over tree.  He broke off a frozen branch and gave it to me.  I still remember feeling like his princess with a magic icicle wand in my frozen hand.  It was here that he got on his knee an proposed.  It was BEAUTIFUL!

Now did I know it was coming?  ... Yes, I did have a pretty strong feeling and that is an entirely different story.  But let me tell you, besides labor and dancing with broken ribs and toes, letting him finish and actually propose was one of the hardest moments in my life.  For those of you that don't know me, I tend to ...well lets just say that it is hard for me to hide my "emotions."  Oh there are reasons why I danced.  Needless to say, it was still a moment of pure joy. A moment that will forever be etched and frozen in my mind.

It all makes me think of "to be or not to be".  Again I don't know if I am correct, but I understand this Hamlet quote to mean "to live or to die".   Lord knows we all have tragedy in our lives.  We are all frail and struggle with our own real hardships.  And yes sometimes it does seem like too much to handle.  But today I would like to take out the "not to be"  part of Shakespeare that is imprinted upon our minds.  Really what is the point of remembering that?  Let's remember those frozen moments of pure joy and be able recognize them while we are experiencing them!  Let us always live for the moments to live for.  Let us always learn "TO BE!"

Right now I am looking at my husband holding our son and showing him a tennis ball.  Tears of joy are building because today I know what it is TO BE.